Hey Nerds,
The past few weeks my mind has increasingly gravitated towards my father. The tenth anniversary of his passing is coming up in the next week and my brain keeps bringing me back to this fact.
He’s been gone ten years. TEN. YEARS.
My cousin texted me letting me know his girlfriend’s house is across the street from the cemetery where dad was laid to rest, that it’s hard for him to believe it’s been nearly ten years, and that he misses him.
I could only answer honestly. That some days it feels like yesterday and I have dreams so vivid it feels like he’s still here.
Of course other days I feel every day of those ten years and his absence. I wish I had him here to ask him questions. And I regret that I never took him up on teaching me how he did their finances. I miss how he anchored our family and calmed the chaos.
Mostly I just miss him.
There’s no fun fact I can slip in here, but I will share what I tell others when dealing with grief, and something that I have to remind myself of in these moments: it hurts because you loved them. If it didn’t hurt, that would be a bad thing.
Grief never really goes away. With time, it dulls. It ebbs and flows. It sneaks up on you and ambushes you at inopportune moments. And the truth of it all is it’s a bitch.
Hold your loved ones tight, nerds. For me and my dad.
Cheers,
Head Nerd